Make your own here.

I bought myself a Christmas present this year. That hasn’t happened in a while. That’s a good thing because this year’s present was fairly expensive. I’ve re-discovered my passion (more like obsession) with photography in the last several months. For that reason, I thought I’d reward myself with a new camera so that the world could begin to see what I see in higher quality. Mostly, it’s a reward for getting over myself.

You forget that you had to learn how to hold a camera until you get a new one. The buttons are in a different place, the weight is not the same. It feels bulky and wrong. But, at the same time it feels so right. It’s scary and new and exciting and I can’t wait to take hundreds of horrible images as I slowly discover a rhythm with my new friend.

Its about time I take my passion a bit more seriously. It’s amazing that I believed more in myself as a photographer when I was 14 years old than I did in the last 5 years. It feels good to be reaching back in time to that girl that just had to have her camera with her and didn’t know any other way to speak to the world except through photographs.

After my volunteer gig today I thought I would take a look at the city through my camera lens. I decided to challenge myself a bit and stick to about a two block radius. There are a number of unseen photographs in the world, even in San Francisco. Here is what my eyes and photo gut saw today on Mission Street in between 3rd and 4th street.

I had an awesome time last month photographing a Rock & Roll Wedding!  Andrew and Yuki had so much fun and their friends and family were clearly happy to watch them tie the knot and celebrate their love for one another.  I had an extra fun time because I got to go back to one of my favorite places to photograph the wedding.  Andrew and Yuki were married at the Muir Beach Community Center which happens to be the same exact place my husband and I were married about a year and a half ago.  Every time I drive to Muir Beach I get butterflies because it brings back the wonderful memories of my favorite day.  Thanks for the good times and good memories Andrew and Yuki!  Have fun loving each other now and forever.

I can’t ever really figure out what makes me make art and what makes me stop for a certain period of time.  For a good amount of time I have had the intention of creating a project with the working title of “A Conversation with my Grandfather.”  The basis of the project is taking photographs with my grandfather’s old camera that was given to me after he died.

Just about 4 days before I was set to graduate college my father called me to tell me that his father had suffered a stroke.  I screamed at the top of my lungs.  I had lost someone that had just begun to become one of my best friends.  We had written each other back and forth while I was in college and had grown to understand each other.  Most of it was me realizing both our vast differences and our great similarities.  I was also old enough to realize that my grandfather had lived for 62 years before I was born and that all of those years influenced who he was.  I understand him even more now, even though he is gone, as I get older.  Generations can grow together when they are willing to accept that they are leading separate lives in the same place.

I have rolls of film taken from my grandfather’s camera, but they are sitting in a drawer in my living room.  I don’t know if it is fear or what, but they have been sitting there for more than a year, waiting to be developed.  And, I know that one or two rolls will not be enough for a strong series of work, so I need to keep photographing.  But, I’m not.  I can give you many many reasons.  I don’t have the time, the energy, I have a lot of things on my plate right now.  But, I am figuring out at this moment that I am afraid.  I am afraid to say goodbye.

But, there is hope for me.  About 15 minutes ago I discovered Briony Campbell and the dad project. She used photography to cope with her dying father.  The artist also created a film which may be viewed HERE. The work is honest, soft, natural, heartfelt and very inspirational.  Just what I needed.

Briony Campbell, photographer

]]> http://laurenusher.com/blog/just-the-inspiration-i-needed/feed/ 0 http://laurenusher.com/blog/perhaps-its-time-to-say-good-bye/ http://laurenusher.com/blog/perhaps-its-time-to-say-good-bye/#comments Tue, 09 Mar 2010 04:49:54 +0000 lauren http://laurenusher.com/blog/?p=191 I haven’t been able to work up the nerve to toss these lovelys into the compost bin.  They are slowly disappearing on their own.  A different picture everyday.

This morning as I stumbled around the kitchen trying to put a cup of coffee together I noticed the beauty that the crumbs of broccoli can sometimes leave behind.