It’s funny how some things can be put on the back burner for a while. As much as I obsess with routine and organization, I doubt I will ever reach my perfection goals. At some point I think I will have to learn to let go of the idea of perfection and let myself do whatever it is I want to do. The problem I’m having is not trying to figure out what I want to do with myself, which seems a life long quest for a great many people. What I am finding difficult is what I want to do first.
I have been thinking a great deal about cloning lately as I believe that will be the only way I will ever get to accomplish all of my aspirations in this lifetime. I think I need to prioritize. I have to choose.
I know one thing for sure, my art has been suffering and, in turn, so have I. I have a studio that is pretty ridiculous right now. I can’t even really stand in it. So, step one, purge the studio. I am in that kind of mood lately. Step two, make something (even if it sucks). I have a feeling I may have to start scheduling time in each day or one or two solid days a week to be in the studio. I mean, it is my job, so I need to make a product. I’m torn because I just want to make art. But, I also don’t think that I exist soley to produce visual art. There is something telling me I need to do more.
I want others to feel the way I do when I have an idea and I make it happen. I want art to be a daily practice for the majority of Americans, because WE NEED IT! I want to change government policy and make it mandatory that all public schools have an art studio where children are always free to create. Art does something to an individual that nothing else can.
That’s where I am right now.