There are so many benefits to having fun with one’s art. Making art for art’s sake. Not caring about the final goal, delivering a message, making a statement, or even making any sense. It comes from a part of you that you may not even understand at this point in time. But, if you want to be a showing artist, you need to take it seriously. It is work. You should consider your audience. You should think about marketing your artist brand. You should figure out what kind of impact you want your art to have in this world.
Right now, I’m doing the latter well. Almost too well. I’ve lost the fun and want to get it back. I feel like I ruin my art by taking it too seriously before it’s even had a chance to breath on it’s own. Before I even show it to anyone I’m worried about the concept, communicating a statement of some sort, how it’s going to be received, if it’s really good enough to show off, and so much more.
And that’s no fun.
What it comes down to, what everything always comes down to, is balance.
I’m feeling wibbly wobbly right now. I’m extremely off kilter. My big, fat, sloppy, gross troll is weighing my shoulder down. I can’t even stand up straight right now.
I want to tell him to go f#*& himself, but I can’t.
Art is so freeing. It is true freedom because the possibilities feel endless when you create. I still remember a model playground I constructed in grade school that had a rocket to the moon. You could go to the moon during recess! That’s how art feels when I’m in the middle of it. Like I can fly if I wanted to. But, when I think about packaging my latest project together, tying a bow around it, and handing it over to the world to open up and receive graciously or throw back in my face I feel trapped. I feel trapped in the idea of what good art is, what an artist is supposed to look like, act like, and make.
My only choice is to get over myself.
So, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to just accept that I go through an obsessive, nit picky, question just about everything stage before I present a new project.